Saturday, June 25, 2011

The Plight of a Newly Wed














Like someone wise once said, (ahem ahem! :P)
"Life after marriage can be pretty weird at times
Its like you neither belong here nor there,
As if you are hanging in the air."
(I SWEAR I came up with this myself. So its copyrighted. :P)

The only plus point is that if you look real close, you could find your better half hanging on right next to you. :) The only problem being that He always gets to find level ground soon after, but She hangs on.. and on.. and on.. unless ofcourse she couldnt care less.

Though getting married is the happiest moment in her entire life, deep within she often experiences a mixture of feelings- of anxiety, curiosity, excitement and what not! But what underlies all these emotions is a sense of very low self- confidence. It doesnt matter if she is rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, employed or unemployed, her hold on confidence is damn slippery. From the moment she gets to wear that beautiful engagement ring, to the moment she breathes her last, she is always engulfed by this deadly fear of being abandoned. She often wonders whether she can be that PERFECT wife and that PERFECT daughter in law.. all the while, NOT forgetting to remain the PERFECT daughter. In her new home, she always thinks twice before wording her opinion, especially coz she knows all too well that she is not amongst her own. Every time she sits back and eyes a daughter being cuddled by her mother, she holds back tears as she reminiscences herself being cajoled by her mom not so long a while ago. She feels lonely, she feels empty, and she gets a tummy cramp every time someone comes up with the word "home". A chill goes up her spine as she senses the eager eyes of those around glued onto her, waiting to judge her every word.. her every move. She feels detached from her original self as she often double checks and even triple checks her every urge. It consumes a lot more of her vigor, that most of the time, she prefers to remain silent and still. When the kids run round and round playing their naughty little games, and are called upon for their 10 minute snack-time break, she wonders why no one offered to play with her, or even to take a bite off their snack. It takes a while before it dawns on her that she would no longer be "the baby" of the family :(